EmotionalBuzz
the resource for meridian energy therapy
Coping with exam stress
We often think of using EFT to heal a pain, whether it is a physical or emotional pain, including those that have been around for a while. Why not try to use EFT the other way round – to prepare for a situation that might be viewed as intense, and make it a nice moment?
by Christine Disant
Two years ago, Norma came to see me after she had witnessed an accident where a very close friend nearly died. That trauma was only the tip of the iceberg, and over the next few months together we unrooted numerous childhood traumas, long forgotten and buried. EFT also allowed Norma to change some of the core beliefs that had been driving her life for over 30 years, such as: “I need stress to survive”, “I must be perfect”, “stress prevents me from collapsing out of exhaustion”, and so on.
EFT also gave her a tool to manage difficult situations with her family. Norma now uses EFT from time to time, mainly to prepare for occasions that might create stress and anxiety in her life. When she feels she won’t be able to tap it all away on her own, about once or twice a year she comes back to me for a session. Here is one of these sessions.
Getting close to her forties, Norma decided to go back to school in France and complete a Masters degree. She already used EFT to go through the interviews and get accepted by the school. Now she’s nearly finished, and she’s about to present her thesis in front of the examining ‘jury’. She believes she would greatly benefit with a session to prepare for that moment, no doubt a difficult one for her.
Norma also used EFT on several occasions while she was writing her thesis. Her first words when we start the session are: “I actually can’t feel any stress at all.” This is a very usual and subconscious reaction for Norma: “If I don’t see the stress, then, there’s none, is there?!” My role is to help her to identify any buried stress, and let it go NOW, before the presentation.
I do my best to trigger Norma’s stress by any means, describing a presentation where everything goes from bad to worse. And just digging a little bit, the stress is there all right!
An important detail is that Norma has decided to present her thesis in a very personal way, and to discuss very difficult times from her personal and family history. It’s sn interesting decision considering that, only two years earlier, she would have mentioned the topic with reluctance and brushed over it. She certainly would not have done it publicly, in detail, and in front of a jury! This already shows a significant benefit of her EFT work.
So we roll out the film of the thesis presentation: leaving home, travelling to and arriving at the school, and setting up the room, the arrival of the jury, going over her presentation and finally taking their questions. At each step, we are introducing the worst case scenario, raising the stress level as much as possible, and we then proceed to let go of any related negative emotion. The idea is to roll out that film from beginning to end, peacefully, and maybe with a bit of humour!
Here are a few set-ups we tapped on:
- “Even though the jury president could make me lose it and undermine me ...”
- “Even though I have this bag of anxiety knots in my belly ...”
- “Even though my throat still feels a little tense when I think about the presentation ...”
- “Even though I am programmed to lose it, so I WILL lose it ... I choose to change my programming ... I choose the programme ‘self assured’” (Norma bursts out laughing “I feel like I’m programming a washing machine!”)
- “Even though they might ask me a question for which I have no answer, and I’ll get panicked (shaking hands, tense stomach and throat, maybe even tears) ...”
- “Even though I learned to have a tense throat when I hear the word stress ... maybe I can now learn to feel relaxed, no matter what?”
- “Even though the school director might be in the public, and that makes me nervous ...”
- “Even though the jury are looking for my weaknesses and finding them (or they’re finding them by chance, just because I’m speaking about very personal things) ...”
- “Even though I’m not quite sure I know what I’ll say ... I choose to easily find my words, at the perfect time ...”
While tapping, we also use other tools, such as visualisation, colours and breathing. Norma’s aim is to feel confident, with a well meaning jury.
Norma commented after the session: “Thank you. At the beginning of the year, the presentation made me feel ________. {she can’t even find a proper word to describe the induced stress}, and now I feel fully relaxed.”
At the end of that session, I gave her homework: to imagine and visualise, at least once a day, a perfect presentation where everything is flawless in every little detail.
The day before the presentation, we have a new discussion. A few more concerns arise:
- “Even though this is an unusual situation, therefore I HAVE TO feel stressed out ...”
- “Even though I could fail and lose points for my diploma ...”
- “Even though the car will choose THAT DAY to fail me ...”
- “Even though we’re a bit optimistic to assume that everything will be flawless ...”
- “Even though the president of the jury will look for a problem and will be nasty to me ...”
- “Even though I feel a little tension when I see the jury walking in the room ...”
It doesn’t take long before Norma is perfectly at ease, ready to face any bad situation I introduce into the scenario.
Follow-up after the presentation
Afterward Norma said: “I didn’t feel stressed out at all ... it went well. The jury president did tease me a bit, but we had a very interesting conversation and I could feel he was well meaning. I got a rating of 15 out of 20. I can’t believe it’s over!
“I prepared the room and set my things up. The jury president arrived before my mentor. We talked in a very relaxed way, (a friend was in the room to support me too) while we were waiting. When my mentor arrived, everything just unfolded. We all stood for the introduction of the context by the president. Then I had 20 minutes maximum to present my work in an original way.
“I was relaxed as I spoke and both members of the jury congratulated me on my research work. The president asked me several questions. I couldn’t answer them all in detail, but he acted as a well meaning fount of knowledge.
“Once this was finished, my friend and I left the room for them to debrief, for about 10 minutes. I only felt a little bit of stress once, when I found it difficult to answer one particular question. No stress when he teased me, because I knew it was usual, and I could feel the jury being well meaning.”
It was a truly relaxed and enjoyable moment for all. As I said later to Norma, she was probably doing the jury a favour, too, by preparing herself to be relaxed. I could imagine that after a day of presentations with mostly very tense people, the jury probably also enjoyed a more relaxed atmosphere!
EFT really is a multifaceted tool. Just use it and keep tapping!
Christine Disant
Practical Learners